In an earlier post, I wrote: “I deeply feel giving has to fit in one’s circumstances just right. It has to flow effortlessly. It should not be agonizing, afflicting, harrowing, tormenting; if it is, then one becomes a liability to oneself and others. The whole thing becomes a hindrance, putting the individual at a disadvantage, or compromising what he/she is responsible for.” The way it works for me is that I have to feel (not “be” because it’s all subjective and relative) that my husband, children and I are secure – mainly financially, but maybe also emotionally? – to give with all my heart. This is the way it works for me at this point in my life.
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There's a lot I agree with in what you say, Alex. I do agree that giving shouldn't feel like torture. I think I'm trying to get to the bottom of whether practicing it makes it feel less like torture with time.
ReplyDeleteAs for being a liability to yourself, I suppose there's more of a danger of that happening if you hoard all your wealth and never share it, as opposed to sacrificing something for the sake of someone else. It's natural for us to be possessive, it's how we're built, but it doesn't mean it's good for our souls. I don't think you're suggesting that it is, but your point about not being a liability to yourself, if taken to the obvious extreme, would have people thinking that they must never give anything away, at the risk of destabilizing themselves or their families. Whereas most of what I've heard from those who have given much away suggests that they are much happier for it.